Did you know my husband’s dad was married seven times and his mom five times? Both were committed Christians too. This dysfunctional background didn’t help Phil in his first marriage that ended in divorce. My first marriage also ended in divorce.
This brokenness gave Phil a desire to learn the relationship skills his parents couldn’t teach him so he could pass the wisdom on to his son. His career as a Chaplain in the LA National Guard provided the opportunity to study and earn certification in several relationship skills courses to help the soldiers.
Phil discovered several resources that he highly recommends to individuals and/or couples who struggle with relationship issues.
First, he shares his book list, he’s listed in foundational order. Each book builds upon the previous book. Phil says even married couples should read the jerk book (to learn how not to be a jerk). Many of these books helped us in our own marriage. Here is his book list he shares:
Second, is information regarding expectations we bring into relationships. Here are some charts to illustrate our needs:
Here is a list that can help an individual or couple recognize risk factors in their life. When an individual or couple have too many risk factors or even one major risk factor going on , it can lead to depression, anxiety, and (in cases where someone has made the issue or issues more important that life) even suicide.
Another great resource Phil and I found helpful in our marriage and also very entertaining is Mark Gungor’s video series for couples. Mark presents conferences for couples and this video is from the first night, the Tale of Two Brains. This is the full evening, there are shorter clips but I recommend watching thirty minutes at a time and talking about it.
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